one thing,

I only have one thing to say today.
I know now that there's someone there. I know I'm not alone in this..
A very good friend at college is there for me, and as always "my big brother".
These are the best people... <3

That One Person...

So have you ever met someone and at first impressions thought that they would never conjure up strong emotions or have a massive impact?
Yeah...I did that.
There's this one guy in my life, that did exactly that. I met him, ages ago, it feels like I've known him forever. And when I first met him, I thought he'd just be one of those guys you meet and never talk to. But no.. He did the opposite. After I met him, we started talking and we could quite litterally talk for days..and not stop. I don't know why but we just connected..like something clicked and we instantly became brilliant friends... I don't  understand that connection, and I guess I never will, but I don't mind that. I can live wth not understanding it, as long as I don't lose it.
But then, I have to say that I've always had a soft spot for this guy, ever since I met him; there's just something about him..
But I can't tell him exactly how I feel. oh no. That would lead to all kinds of complications. Besides, he seems so perfectly happy..
And I refuse to get in the way or alter that.. I'll always have feelings for this guy, and I'll always have that soft spot... I'm just happy to have the privellege of calling him My Bestfriend...He's like family to me...Only more   <3 <3

The Effect Of People...

'kay so, this may seem weird but some people really do get under my skin...
Like some times it's good and makes me realise just how much I really do care about them, but other times..they just annoy me. End of. So I dont really know what to write about..but I guess I'm just supposed to tell you what's going through my head..and right now, That would be how complicated everything is...
Like the one question of my life is what to say? do I tell her happened ad explain the real reason to my cranial melt down (if thats how you spell it) or do I leave it, and when it comes down to the end of all this pretend like I didn't know... However this person is the most important person in my life and I can't lose the connection I have with her....I just can't...

But anyway, moving on to a lighter topic of conversation! WOO! yay! today is going to be a good day, I can tell :) reason 1; get to see like the most amazing guy ever...
When I walked in to Nailsea SportCentre i couldnt wait to see him! (Obviously i'm not saying his name...this is the internet after all :P
But the moment saw him couldn't control the smile. its been way too long since saw this guy! I can honestly say he is one of the best people I've met, and I cant imagine my life with out him!!
Loads of Love for this guy!!!!! <3 <3 <3(in all fairness like the main reason its a good day ^_^ <3)


P.s; if you ever read this...The green plaster suited you ;) <3

things are looking up :)

So next week I'm in Southhamptom on Tuesday and off college on Friday :) Going to be a relaxing week :) Oh yeah, and I'm going to Nailsea on Saturday XD Can't wait!!

so..next year is sorted!! YAY! I'm hopefully going to see Panic at the disco in January, then Reading Fest an Henley Rewind Fest XD might even see Evanescence :) I'm so excited for next year!!

Anyway..moving on.. I finally finished all my college work. and Lately I'm feeling alot better :)
That might bee because according to the doctors scales I've lost 4.5kilos in the 3 weeks! I feel quite proud of myself XD
The thing about it though, is that I've actually started eating more and regularly, so I'm no longer starving myself an I'm losing weight..WEIRD!

There isn't much to say so I'll end it there..<3

Weird Day...

I went shopping in Mansfield today. I was told that I wouldn't stand out... yeah right LOL.
But then, if I wasn't stared out and I didn't stick out, I would have felt weird.. So it was a normal shopping day really.
The only difference was  that I didn't buy clothes, I bought books and jewellery; haven't done that in a while...

However the only slight issue of the day, was a semi-weird conversation, to which during it I resorted to my ultimate tactic of twiddling or fiddling with the first available thing - a straw. Yeah...the straw was useless afterwards...
And I also spent the entire day shaking and trying wake up my constantly dead leg that weighed a bloody tonne.
The problem was..I wasn't cold. At all.. weird right?

Anyway, I'm still shaking...and can't seem to stop.. I was constantly shaking on the Judo mat today, and my annoying dead leg caused me to fall over too many times after each technique..or prevented me from actually getting off the floor. fun right?
So I'm in Nottingham until Thursday, then in Bristol next weekend. and I honestly can't wait.. :) I don't like most the people in Reading, except the select few that go to college :D And I've always believed that it's the people that make the place...not the other way around :)

<3

Feeling Better...

so, I feel better than I did.I don't why, it may have something to do with a weekend with friends and having a good time, and now being in Nottingham with a good friend and seeing two very cool people smile.

But, I've been thinking, and I've decided that I'm so not this guys type, and no matter what I do, he probably wont be interested in me. So I've decided I shall admire him from a distance. It's okay, and I don't mind, I've resigned myself to being un-datable. so it's fine.
I mean if it ever happened and it turned out he was interested, sure, that would be good. But if he isn't and it never happens, I'm fine with that too. I don't mind. It's not the end of the world and I'll get over it.

Anyway, moving on, Saturday night was amazing!!
I had so much fun, watching drunk people dancing and a certain someone practically eating a rubber glove. LOL.

But yeah, the past few have been much better. And I haven't felt the need to randomly burst into hysterics and cry. so yeah. Its good :)

I feel much better <3

free time....

So i'm now officially on half term, and had a super bust day today shopping for tomorrow...i bought party rings...'cause they're nommy!!

Anyway the next week is shaping up to be a good one. having some friends over tomorrow, a relaxing day sunday, them monday the fun really begins.
So i'm going out for a little bit to do some more shopping, then I'm travelling all the way up to nottingham so stay with a friend for a while. Going to be lots of fun, because i know a certain someone will cheer up alot. and i mean alot...hell he might even smile.

Then when i get back i'm going to have a humongous pile of college work to do..but hey, i'll have a few days..
and then its halloween. one of my most favourite holidays...i dont know why its my favourite..but it just is..
Any way the first weekend of november, i finally get to go and see one of the most amazing people in my life.. and i sooooooo cant wait... he truly is a lovely guy!
GAH! the next couple of weeks are going to be soo amazing!!

Although, when i have free time and i'm on my own..i never know what to with myself...i get so bored and irritated..
So i'm glad i wont be alone. <3